CHEATING? Is it really that bad?

My opinion on cheating is that anything from ‘sexting’ onwards whilst in an exclusive relationship is cheating. You are a cheat if you retaliate to cheating, and you are a cheat if you use it as a method to leave an unhealthy relationship. But my opinion is not necessarily the same as others, so I recently sent out a request for volunteers to look into the way that couples interact, communicate, and more importantly what they tell other people or may do with other people.

I also wanted to know (considering the current international media coverage) what people\s opinions on LGBTQ relationships was. The general census was that people had either considered a same sex relationship, knew people who were and didn’t think of it as anything other than ‘normal’ and those who really weren’t fussed as long as it wasn’t in their faces.

I asked 10 questions to multiple people, but for the purposes of this article have picked out two of my volunteers. As per my guidelines when I listed my article, all contributors are anonymous, listed only by a christian name initial.

  • How old are you and how old is your partner?

R: I am 26, my partner is 27.

H: I’m 36 and he is 32.

  • How did you meet?

R: We met when I was 14 at a local convention; we were friends for several years before we began dating.

H: I was working in a pub and he started coming in every lunch time. He would sit at the bar and we would do the sun dial in the paper lol.

  • How much time do you spend together each week?

R: Currently, we live together. We dedicate time in our day to play video games together and once a week we sit down to watch television. Despite being around each other a lot we make it a point to dedicate actual time to spend together.

H: Whenever we are home really but I try to send him out with the lads as much as possible ..I think it’s healthier to have some space.

  • Is there anything they do that you hate? (Remember it’s anonymous!)

R: My partner can sometimes be a bit of a homebody, and it takes a lot of effort to get them to go out which is incredibly annoying.

H: He spends too much time on his phone and forgets most things he is told.

  • what is your opinion on cheating?

R:  I do not believe cheating is as clean cut as it is typically perceived. Yes, someone gets hurt and that is bad- ideally, you don’t want to hurt someone. but I think the context of a situation can make it sympathetic and I believe that, for some people, they view it as their only means to escape an unhealthy relationship.

H: I think that one night stands can happen, anyone can make a mistake but an on going relationship with someone else is inexcusable.

  • Have you ever cheated? – what happened?

R: Not in my current relationship. In a relationship in my past I sought an emotional connection I did not feel I was receiving. While I was not physically unfaithful, the intimacy I formed with someone outside my relationship caused a wound that never healed.

H: No never.

  • Have you been cheated on? – what happened?

R: In my younger years, but I do not remember much of it. I typically cut ties and moved on.

H: Not yet, fingers crossed!

  • What’s your opinion on same sex/ mixed sex couples? (whichever is not yourself)

R: Currently, I am in a “mixed set” relationship but I identify as a pansexual woman and have dated a variety of different people on the gender spectrum (cis, trans, nonbinary). I personally do not find gender to be a point of influence in my relationships.

H: I’ve had relationships with both genders so I am supportive of anyone that loves each other.

  • What are the qualities you like in a partner and why?

R: In general, I like someone who is physically strong and mentally ambitious.

H: Someone who is loyal, funny, loves you even when you are at you’re worst and even after years together can still surprise you.

  • 10, what are the qualities you dislike in a partner and why?

R:  The biggest quality I dislike is a close-minded individual and passive behaviour.

H: Lying, cheating and not putting equal effort into the relationship.

 

 

If you were to answer these questions what would your answers be? Why don’t you ask your followers, friends or family? Anonymous questionnaires are brilliant for allowing people to speak their thoughts without fear of being judged. Let me know if you’d like to be part of my next social article!

 

NB: All answers are provided by the volunteers and are no way endorsed, influenced or adapted by charlottexamy.com – all volunteers consented to their answers being used on a social domain and are aware that they will be listed as their christian initial (or name of choice).

 

Let me know your thoughts below! Lets discuss!

CA x

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TOP 10… Movies

We are always discussing movies with our friends, family and colleagues. What we’ve seen at the pictures, recently downloaded, and on the rare occasion now, have purchased on DVD. I thought I would use this clear interest to blog my favourite movies of all time. Now, I understand this is a very sweeping statement and some of you may not agree with my choices but there may still be a few surprises in there as well!

Check them out below and let me know in the comments what you think! Let me know if there’s anything I should watch if I haven’t already as well! Always appreciate recommendations.

 The Neverending Story – This film was originally made in German following a German written book called Die unendliche Geschichte which translates to the same name. The book was published in 1979 and the film followed in 1984, as I wasn’t born until the 90’s by the time I watched it the hype had gone and I watched it by chance one day when it was on television, loved it so my mum bought me the VHS, which I quickly burnt out! Still to this day one of my favourites of all time, I’ve got the DVD, an A1 sized poster of the second film (there is a trilogy, although I might add the ones after are not as good as the original, of course) and regularly quote the film in day to day life without most people even realising! 

 

Good Will Hunting – A Robin Williams classic. To be fair, I could fill this list with entirely Robin Williams based films, but I don’t think that would be fair to the other creditable writers and actors that got me to tip my hat to them as well. Williams performs wonderfully as a psychologist and Damon as Will, working hand in hand with Williams as a young student, with a flare for mathematics is a match made in heaven. It’s a bit of a tearjerker if you’re the sentimental type, so have the tissues at the ready! It was my go to film to watch once I had heard the unfortunate news on Robin Williams passing and will forever be an astounding film. 

 

 

Blue is the Warmest Colour – This film is French made, and therefore has English subtitles. Before I watched this film my only experience of subtitles was watching TV when everyone was asleep so quiet I had to have them on! I have never been a fan of the old style black and white subtitled movies either so this was the first time I had fully invested in a foreign film. This film brings to light the struggles of finding your identity and sexuality, as Adele a teen in France is finding herself whilst going through all the stresses of a teenager in high school (secondary in the UK) meets Emma a slightly older woman who knows that she is LGBTQ and has settled into her life. Watching Adele’s journey is something that a lot of people will understand, and empathise with and even if you don’t quite understand the gay side of things, everyone understands heartbreak. 

 

The Pianist – Adrien Brody’s portrayal of a Jewish pianist during WWII is incredible. The setting is the Warsaw ghetto, and I think because of the superb subtle acting and a combination of facts and artefacts, the film really brings home how the people of Poland felt when they were brought into the war, and abused so horrifically by the Nazi troops. Based on “The Pianist: The Extraordinary True Story of One Man’s Survival in Warsaw, 1939-1945,” an autobiography describing the change in Warsaw from when the Nazi’s occupied up until his death, there are a lot of poignant scenes within the movie that make you think pretty hard about what you have in life. 

 

The Breakfast Club – I cry. Yes, I cry at the end of this film. It really gets to me that people from all walks of life and backgrounds can come together and unite. It makes me feel pride towards being a human, and I think, to heck, if they can develop this concept on a film in the 80’s where there is still so much conflict between sexualities/genders/ethnicities, in a world where we are much more open minded (bar those who haven’t yet come to terms with differences) there is no reason this couldn’t be a reality! Symbols through the film make you feel compassion towards characters, and there is an element of nostalgia of being in a detention and causing trouble as a kid. Male, female or whatever you are, if you haven’t seen this film you should. 

 

One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest – This is the story of a criminal trying to get away with his crimes. He pleads insanity and is sent to an institution, which he stupidly thinks will be fun and games. He aggresses the staff and scares the patients, and has to live with his choices when things become serious. Jack Nicholson is an incredibly good actor in all his work, but I find this film exceptional. The film quite accurately shows people’s stigma towards mental health issues and how sometimes, using this as a scapegoat, doesn’t make you escape anything except the future…

 

WALL-E – A Disney Pixar has made the list! WALL-E is a film about human destruction, painted nicely so that it’s deemed as family friendly. The film sends a subliminal message about looking after yourself, each other and the planet, and what would happen if the human race continues to fail to do so. Sounds pretty serious right? It has some really funny parts, and some parts that will leave you a little shocked, even if it is a U! WALL-E tells the story of love, in all formats. Take a look if you haven’t seen the trailer before: 

 

The Goonies – A story of friendship, teenage angst and pirates! Everyone loves a treasure hunt, and you’ll be sat at the edge of your seat during the organ playing scene! You may recognise some of the actors from shows they went on to be cast in as adults, such as Corey Feldman and Sean Astin. Iconic characters such as Sloth and Chunk who are still regularly quoted by people now, honestly the film of an age. HEY YOU GUYS.  

 

The Sixth Sense – A psychological horror about a young boy who can see and hear the dead. He seeks the help of a child psychologist, and the film explores his journey with this gift. Utterly haunting, and quite often referred to when things go bump in the night around children, The Sixth Sense is a wonder to watch. 

 

The Lion King – The be all and end of of Disney, a guarantee to be crossed off on your Disney list. Heartbreaking when Mufasa dies, Sorry I know it’s spoiler! And lifting when Simba sings with Timon and Pumba, this film really does give you all the emotions. It paved the way for a lot of Disney films for people, and although it was far from my first rodeo, it’s definitely the most entertaining. One of the few films where I have also liked the follow up film as much as the original, Lion King 2- Simba’s Pride is equally as brilliant as the first. 

 

 

So, now you know my favourites, what are yours? Do you agree with any of mine? Why not make your own post and tag me so I can further my top movies list?

 

CA x